How Embarrassing

I have to admit I'm quite ashamed at my lack of posts as of late.  But I do have plenty to talk about.  Here is a preview of some of the awesome things coming up in the next few weeks...

Guest Blog!
Was it business or pleasure?  Who can tell the difference when you're on an exploration of the finest "cultures" in beautiful Italy!  Nicole shares her experience first hand!

Grilled cheese ON cheese 
I've never felt more ill-qualified to write a cheese blog than when Josh sent me another blogger's recipe for grilled cheese on cheese bread.

Adventures in mozz-making
I finally get around to making some homemade mozzarella and boy does hilarity ensue!  I'm only assuming that some zany antics will take place since I haven't actually gotten around to making the cheese yet.
 

Favorite Things 2013

With the holiday season upon us and the new year quickly approaching, I thought it appropriate to release my Favorite Things of 2013.  Some of you may know that Oprah is a hero of mine, often starting sentences with "Oprah says..." or greeting people with the CCAAAAARRRR VVVOOOOIIIICCEE.  And so I have been humbly inspired by Lady O and pray that I do not disappoint.  I present: The Brie, Myself, & I Favorite Things 2013.

WaxVac

The WaxVac is everything great about the new millennium.  For centuries, mankind has struggled with pesty earwax and its archaic removal techniques.  Personally, I've been reduced to going to an urgent care center to have my excessive wax removed due to a lack of quality home solutions.  The WaxVac is truly a representation of the evolution of the human race.

House Pants

House pants are engineered from a cotton blend or Good Will-grade polyester, combined with self-loathing or extreme self-acceptance (depending on the wearer's choice of said cotton or polyester).  They are designed to provide maximum comfort with minimum style or elegance and will become a Monkey/Pop-Pop staple in 2013.

Dips 

A wise man once said "When I dip, you dip, we dip".  I think we could all stand to take a cue from Freak Nasty and make dipping a priority in 2013.   This Charleston Cheese Dip is my new favorite.

$200 Ice Ball Maker

 

Williams-Sanoma Japanese Ice Maker.  Clearly a necessity.



Because as the fiscal cliff looms, I see no better way to spend my money.

Justin Timberlake Corn Rows Circa 2001 

It's been 12 years, which is 13 too long.  This fashion statement says "I'm a turd sandwich".

The most magical place on earth

Sometimes my husband does horrible, horrible things.  I mean, like some Pelican Brief Sleeping With the Enemy type of stuff.  Dastardly deeds!  Like eating one cheez-it out of my perfectly portioned 100 calorie pack, rendering my daily caloric intake virtually meaningless.

But then he surprises me on my birthday with a trip to Disney World, and 88% of it is forgiven.

Recaptured the innocence of youth, experienced unparalleled joy, weather was like basking in the glow and warmth of heavenly light, blah blah blah.  Most importantly: there was a Giordano's within walking distance of the hotel. 

Giordano's is a Chicago institution; supposedly the home of the stuffed pizza for which the city is famous.  We've been to the OG in Chicago, but apparently they've franchised throughout Illinois and Florida.  So we were psyched to have happened upon a location while in Orlando.

Take one look at this picture and you'll know why this joint beats Disney for the Most Magical Place on Earth.

Pump up the jam

After some tremendous soul searching and completely objective evaluation of my self-worth, I've realized that I am very dumb.  I finally figured out how to efficiantly efficiently (thank you Swan for pointing on the authenticity of my blog, being that I truly am as dumb as I describe) put pictures on this blog and deliver entertainment to the masses (i.e. my four cherished members).  I've had to take the pics on my cell phone because I was way too lazy to jump through the hoops between my camera's WiFi - to Facebook - to iPad set-up.  So just deal with these horrible pictures.

To follow-up on that much-anticipated teaser from my last blog, I gots to talk about cheese and jam/sauce pairings.  I few weeks ago our friends Jake and Meredith came down to visit from NYC.  Since we're all pretty big wine enthusiasts and we were looking for some place relatively casual to get a light dinner, we took them to Chesapeake Wine Company in Canton.  This place has got it all figured out.  It's a wine shop with, no kidding, like five tables and they're always filled leading you to think this is a busy joint.  They only serve cheese, some charcuterie, and a handful of items than can be popped in a toaster oven behind the bar (I assume it's a Sonja Home toaster oven).  Chesapeake is the very definition of a Baltimore City gem.

While there, we sampled a couple of the cheeses from their changing selection.  We tried (shocker) the brie and some kind of aged white cheddar that I never caught the name of.  To accompany all of their cheeses, CWC serves a pile of crostini and some dried figs.  Maybe they're candied?  It doesn't matter, they're just really good.  One of my favorite things about Poppy, Jake, and Meredith is that they don't like dried figs...

I feel like sweet dried fruits and jams go pretty well with both sharp cheeses and semi-soft cheeses, like cheddar and brie, respectively.  I tend to prefer crumbly cheeses, smoked cheeses (mmm smoked gouda), and a lot of the Italian cheeses like parmesan, mozzarella, and asiago paired with more savory condiments like herbed crackers, bacon or prosciutto, and olives.

While my all-time favorite brie pairing is with a seedy raspberry jam (the seeds that get stuck in my teeth double as a snack for later!), I recently decided to try something new.  I was inspired by a Kahlua baked brie recipe I saw on Pinterest and, with a little help from my sister Nicole, made a Frangelico Baked Brie en Croute.

We were having a kiki at her house and made a bunch of snacks to compliment the fine 2012 Sparkletini Nicole carefully selected for the evening.  I made a glaze out of Frangelico hazelnut liquer, chopped hazelnuts, and brown sugar.  Just drizzle it over the top of the brie and wrap that beast in puff pastry.  It was pretty good, but I encourage Nicole to provide a more eloquent commentary on the merits of using Frangelico over raspberry and almond.

Here's the recipe and crappy picture to accompany it.

1 Puff Pastry sheet
1 8 oz wheel of brie
1/4 cup chopped hazelnuts
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons Frangelico
Pepperidge Farms Wheat crackers are the best for this.  Don't question it.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  Defrost one puff pastry sheet according to directions on the box.  In a bowl, mix together the hazelnuts, brown sugar and Frangelico and let chill in the fridge for about 30 minutes.  Slice the rind off the top of the brie and lay on top of the puff pastry sheet.  Then, top the brie with the hazelnut mixture and fold the puff pastry over top the brie.  If you find you have too much excess puff pastry after folding, just cut some off and bake it along side the brie en croute - you can use it for dipping in your cheese later!  Bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown.  If you want, you can always use an eggwash on the pastry prior to baking to give it that golden, shiny exterior.  Me - I didn't want to waste the egg.

If you look carefully, you can see the real bits of friendship in there

Disregard that little piece of foil on the brie.  It, surprisingly, does not add any flavor

So friends, what is your favorite cheese and jam/condiment combination?

Master's of...huh?

Since technology escapes me and every day is a struggle to get a GD photo uploaded on this blog, I'm going to hold off on my next entry.  [Preview: An in-depth examination of the juxtaposition of salt-laden aged cheeses with the sweetness developed through the caramelization of semi-dried fruits and compotes…whoa, I blacked out for a second.  I talk things about cheese and the jam].

I couldn’t wait to make the following observations, though.

1. We kicked off the Real Housewives Fantasy League.  We’re starting with Beverly Hills only, but more on that later.  The only thing I wanted to mention was how hilarious it was when Adrienne sent that plant to Lisa’s Villa Blanca party.  And to think, Mark Wahlberg struggled so hard to warn the good people of Beverly Hills that it’s the trees that are killing everyone, and Adrienne chose to use this knowledge for evil in hopes to poison Lisa and her fellow revelers for not inviting her.  This will go down as one of my all-time favorite RHW petty retaliations.  Right behind when Jill vowed that she would, indeed, get a hobby.  Look who’s building model trains now, Frankel!
   
   
   2.      I really like soup.
   
   
   3.      I had to fill out a paper ballot last night, so I’m pretty sure my vote in no way counted.  Regardless, I’m very pleased Maryland Question 6 passed.  It’s embarrassing it’s taken until 2012 to get here.
   
   
   4.      The new T-Sizzle CD is a 4 out of 5.  While there are some pretty good jams about Jake Gyllenhaal (both hair and unhairy), some of the songs are a little meh.  Anything about Conor Kennedy is creepy.  If you don’t have the album and remotely care about this, I recommend “All Too Well” and “I Knew You Were Trouble”.
   
   
   Next time I'll manage to perform simple tasks generally relegated to 8-year-olds and get my pics up.
   

Return of the Mac...and Punkin Things!

First of all, you are lying to yourself if you say you don’t love that song.

Last Sunday was one of those gorgeous fall days that you always envision at this time of year, but very rarely actually experience (nothing like the horrible hurricane we experienced this past weekend.  I would have posted this earlier, but I find everyday tasks daunting).  Prime sweater weather, not a cloud in the sky, the leaves that shade of red that looks almost unnatural on the trees.  Waking up that morning there was only one thing that could set this perfect autumn day over the top: punkin things.

Punkin time is like, pretty much my third favorite time of the year. Poppy and I hit up Dunkin Donuts so I could get a pumpkin donut and pumpkin latte, which sweet Jesus was amazing, and then we headed over to Weber’s Farm in Parkville, MD to meet up with my sister, brother-in-law, and their twin boys.  We roamed the shop and the pumpkin patch, and I embarrassed Poppy by screaming when a bee landed on my coffee.  What I imagine as delicately waving the bee off of my coffee cup and casually sashaying over a few feet with the grace and elegance of Ann Romney's horse Rafalca, was in reality more like arms flailing and screams of terror while surrounded by small, better-behaved children.

I bought some old bay cheddar (whaaaaattt), apple butter and rhubarb jam that will no doubt make an appearance in a later blog.  It really was a perfect fall morning.

But what started out as a lovely day went downhill fast when the Raven’s suffered a humiliating loss to Houston.   I don’t know what happened.  I raised the green flag just like you told me, Ray.

While the game sucked, the mac and cheese did not.  Poppy and I make this mac pretty frequently, switching up the cheese and spices, our favorite being Parmesan white cheddar.  This time, we went with sharp white cheddar and pepperjack. 

  

The recipe is below.  This version was pretty good, but I like my mac spicy, so next time I’ll add a ½ tablespoon of crushed red pepper flakes.

1 pound gemelli or campanelle pasta (I like fun shaped things)

3/4 quart milk (or the whole thing if you like your cheese sauce a little thin)

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, divided

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

8 ounces grated sharp white cheddar

8 ounces pepperjack (or more, why not)

1 tablespoon salt

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Parmesan and Garlic breadcrumbs



I don't pretend to be a good photographer, so you just have to trust that this tastes better than it looks.



Preheat the oven to 375.  Boil the pasta to a nice al dente (soggy mac and cheese is the Brad Pitts) and drain well.  In a sauce pan, warm up the milk on medium-low.  Meanwhile, melt 6 TB of butter in a medium-low pot.  Once melted, whisk in the flour in order to create a somewhat thick roux.  Then, add the milk, salt, pepper, nutmeg, and optional red pepper flake and stir.  Next, slowly add in the cheese, constantly stirring until it's almost fully melted.  Finally, stir in the drained pasta.  Transfer the mac and cheese into a 9x12 glass baking dish.  Top with a layer of breadcrumbs and then add the remaining 2 TB of butter, melted and drizzled over the top.  If you want, add a little extra cheese on top of the breadcrumbs, too.  Bake for 25-30 minutes

Look, you could make your own breadcrumbs but that seems like a lot of work, so don't.  But I will say don't buy pre-shredded cheese; it just doesn't melt the same as block cheese.

We have maybe 2 weeks left of punkin things time, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Let them eat (cheese)cake

My inaugural blog.  I’m sure I should come up with some humorous, insightful introductory entry.  I should share the historical account of my love affair with cheese or perhaps delve into my mission here – explain why I even started this blog.  I ought to impart some wisdom or espouse my ideals.  I should really do something to draw the reader in.

But I won’t.  Because that’s really hard work.  A blog about cheese doesn’t need to merit a Pulitzer.  So instead of trying to create some meaningful prose about how much my voice should – no, must – be heard by the world, I’ll just get right into the cheese.  Give the people what they want.

Recently, I attended my friend Jen’s 30^th birthday party.  We had talked a lot about making it a cheese themed event.  While you may consider that to be somewhat nerdy, I would have to correct you.  It is, in fact, super nerdy.  Which is probably why reason prevailed and we opted not to pursue the cheese theme.

But I felt like I really owed something here.  Not only is Jen a dear friend celebrating a milestone birthday, but she’s also a fellow cheese enthusiast (hence why she’s a dear friend).  I really need to deliver on this cheese premise; I need to come up with something original, remarkable.   Unforgettable!  But I get easily overwhelmed...

So instead I went simple: a birthday (cheese)cake.   

 

I removed the rind from the top of one wheel of brie and spread some strawberry preserves on top.  I then removed the rind from both the top and bottom of a second wheel and placed this atop the first, and adding more preserves on top, essentially “icing the cake”.  After topping the cake with a few sliced strawberries and raspberries, I have to say it actually came out looking like an amateur’s take on confectionary art.

Needless to say, the birthday (cheese)cake was a HUGE hit.  In fact, literally NO ONE ate it.  I like to think it’s because it was so beautifully crafted and elegant that people wouldn’t dare compromise this masterpiece.   

In the end, the party was a success, regardless of my ill-fated creation, with plenty more cheese and fun to be had.  Happy birthday Jen!